Time again

I started this blog several years ago as I began studies towards a Master's Degree,at the age of 50 and after 25 years away from academic study. It was to be a receptacle of ideas and a space to reflect on what I was learning. It was of mixed and intermittent success but all in all worthwhile. I have at many different times in my life started a journal only to wander away without returning. I have upteen dozen half-filled journals floating around the house and several forgotten and neglected journal docs on my computer hard-drive.
But something inspired me to return to this blog today. I still feel the need to reflect and record things that move me, concern me, intrigue me. The fact that this is public venue versus a private journal hidden on a dusty shelf of a private bookcase does not concern me. It is unlikely that many or any will stumble upon this. And if they do, it is even more unlikely anyone will take the time to read. But it they do - if you do- feel free to take away what you will and leave what you can. One thing that does increasingly inspire me is the openness of discourse in a connected digital world. More on that another day.
I did complete the Masters degree. On my 52nd birthday, November 14, 2012, I was awarded a Master of Arts - Integrated Studies, in Adult Education and Cultural Studies. It was a wonderful experience to research and write and dialogue with other, mostly "mature" students, like myself.

Process of Play

I am in the meat and potatoes of the final leg of this Masters of Arts adventure - in the midst of research for my final project. Of course, all along a major theme brewing in the back of my mind has been play. Play connotes freedom, exploration, non-agenda-ized experience, fun, innovation, improvisation. It also connotes space, boundaries, in-between, interstitial. You think of the play of the golf club as it swings through space before it hits the ball. Play in something that is loose and you can move back and forth between boundaries. It is a place between, bounded but free.I came across a great youtube video about the play and collaboration behind the Ok Go video for Needing/Getting. I am a big fan of the genius of Ok Go. The video for Needing/Getting is amazing - here it is as an extended version of the one that showed up as a Superbowl commercial:

But this is also really interesting - a video talking a little bit how they came up with this. They teamed up with a motely crew of assorted skill sets and played together, just trying things out and exploring, until they were able to collaborate on something that was fun, amazing and yet very carefully conceived. This video describes the process of play:

Self-portraiture

I did this self-portrait on a 2 inch by 4 inch ipod touch screen with my finger! Technology is amazing. I decided to try out a free art app after listening to David Hockney describe how he began drawing on his iphone and is now creating all kinds of artwork with his ipad. There's much to learn on using this and of course, the free app has its limitations. There must be tools to use other than your blunt fingertip?
This self-portrait looks more like my sister than myself - but it is a curious process producing a self-portrait. You look both analytically and subjectively at your subject/yourself. It calls for both turning inward and taking a stance apart from self - introspection and inspection. There are so many reasons for an artist to turn to self-portraiture - not the least of which is that you always have a ready subject at hand. But it also turns out to be an exercise in self-reflexivity. Who is this face that I turn out to the world? What does it say? What doesn't it say about who I am? One can choose to brutally expose one's physical and/or psychological flaws or (as I did in this one) soften and blur one's flaws.

I'm reading a wonderful book on research by Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot and Jessica Hoffman Davis called the Art and Science of Portraiture (link to Harvard article on the methodology). It makes a compelling case, that of course resonates deeply with me, for marrying art and science in social science inquiry. Much of what the authors write is not new to social science research and can be found in qualitative research such as participatory action research, community action research and grounded theory. But the nuances of this approach such as attending to the aesthetic of the narrative and the science, including telling the "good" story or focusing on wellness rather than pathology intrigues me.

I am in the final third of my last class before beginning my Masters thesis. It is time to begin solidifying my ideas, the method and drawing up a detailed plan for ethical review. So many ideas are swimming around yet. One that remains at the fore is using self-portrait exercises with my participants as a method of self-inquiry.

Telling Tales

“The shortest distance between truth and a human being is a story” - Anthony de Mello

Vulnerablity as the Birthplace of Creativity

Brene Brown's Ted talk. Brene Brown is building an industry on this and it smacks a bit of pop talk, and yet . . . it still seems true.
Brene's website

Let's Play!

Joseph Meeker, a human ecologist, is known for his book, Spheres of Life, The Comedy of Survival. I found an interesting and inspiring essay of his online called "Comedy and a Play Ethic", which details the value of a play ethic (versus a work ethic) in reconcilling damage, breakages, maybe even chasms,in relationships into wholeness. These relationships may be with others, with self, with one's environment or one's spiritual relationship. Play takes all kinds of forms - conversation can be a form of play (can prayer be a form of play? I think it can.), and of course, art is a form of play. "The play of great art calls for high skills and imagination, and reminds us that the world itself can be our gigantic playground. Art, like play, sometimes takes risks that threaten the tidiness that civilizaiton values so highly. Art and play are sources of new experience and they encourage change, so they worry people wholike things to stay put and be obedient" (Meeker, 2000). Meeker's suggested "Playbill of Rights":

• All players are equal, or can be made so.


• Boundaries are well observed by crossing them.


• Novelty is more fun than repetition. Rules are negotiable from moment to moment.


• Risk in pursuit of play is worth it.


• The best play is beautiful and elegant.


• The purpose for playing is to play,nothing else.

"Play rather grows from our sense of freedom. It produces strength and skill for the players, stimulates the imagination, and encourages agility and self-confidence." I remember times in my life when I was at play and there was a sense of "rightness" with the world and a sense that I was in my "element". These times often occurred when I was playing with my children, especially when we were building a cardboard fort, exploring the creek bed by our house, building sandcastles or playing with playdough, or really any time when we were "exploring" our environment for no other purpose than what unexpected discoveries might present themselves. These times also occurred, not always, but often, when I was emmersed in my own art project, especially when I allowed the action and the process to take over any pre-concieved purpose. These times were reconstitutive, restorative and healing. Think back to a time when play brought to you a sense of peace and wholeness, remembering that all sorts of activities can constitute play. What did that feel like? Have you felt this recently? If not, stop what you are doing and go play! That's what I'm going to do.

Shelley Carson, a lecturer with Harvard's School of Psychology has a new book, Your Creative Brain: Seven Steps to Maximize Productivity, Imagination and Innovation in Your Life. The seven brainsets she identifies in relation to creativity are: Connect, Reason, Envision, Absorb, Transform, Evaluate and Stream. I did the quiz on her website in which I scored very high on connect, reason, envision and absorb and very low on transform, evaluate and stream. I'm not sure what that means but first guess - I'd say I'm a thinker not a doer. My pathway is twice as high in spontaneous as deliberate. (But this is only valid if I was spontaneous rather than deliberate in answering the questions!)

In this video she talks about the connection between psychopathy and creativity, or the long-held belief that creative people are crazy. It seems research backs this up. To a point. So why is creativity something that is also thought to bring health and fullness to life. Because it does that too. When people are thinking creatively, there is a sense of being larger than yourself, a sense of clarity and connectiveness and a sense that ideas are in flight. This is a wonderful feeling and in people who are bi-polar, for instance, their manic periods are their most creative.

However, what interests me most about Shelley Carson's work is not what she says about the research that shows their is a connection between psychopathy and creativity but that after 13 years of research, she firmly believes that everyone has the capacity to be creative, that in fact, we are built (created?) to be creative. And that people can attain better health, a greater sense of well-being through exercising the creative brain. This is the premise of my proposed thesis, but in relation to the lives of women who are experiencing mid-life transitions.

This Amy Tan Ted talk expounds on all of this a little more.